“Me” Time

‎”Me” Time

I recently encountered a fascinating conversation regarding what people do during their “Me” time. That, of course, is if we provide ourselves the opportunity to have “Me” time. Too often in relationships the value of doing your own thing goes unnoticed and neglected. Often the focus initially on the relationship is to work on becoming closer with another person. Some sacrifice all “Me” time at once while others struggle to dedicate more couple time. So why is “Me” time so important anyway?

Think about all of the things you use to do before you were in a relationship. How often are you able to do those things without feelings of guilt? Without the first after thought, “I wonder what he/she is going to say…” Yes, there are things one should not do once they’ve entered a relationship (e.g. one night stands). However, there are things that provide us a some joy because we know it’s ours.

My question is, what does your “Me” time consist of?

Break-Up Season Part II

Break-Up Season is like Flu Season

I’m not sure about you, but it seems like at times EVERYONE is breaking up. Like the flu, you will begin to hear about one couple after another calling it quits. It leaves one to wonder, “What’s been put into the water?” I’m here to say, it’s not what’s been put into the water, but rather our ever changing relationship roles that are causing couples to go, “This isn’t working out.”

My theory is as more women are becoming independent financially, they are also becoming more psychologically aggressive within their relationships. With regards to dating, women have more control and an advantage over men. Sorry boys, but it’s true. A confident woman would win more times than a confident male, hands down. Be careful not to celebrate too soon, though because as a result, males have become lazy daters. Men hide behind drinks instead of gifts and letters of thought. Men think by providing everything you want materialistically, then that’s all they need to do. How about for those in relationships?

Today’s modern women are more likely to tell a male their opinion, viewpoints, and beliefs without fear of rejection or consequences as once before. Women are definitely more likely to tell their partners what they want and are more persistent in the pursuit to get what they want. As a result, roles within a relationship are defined hazy at best.

Men’s responses from the change have not been good. Men either become even more aggressive (sometimes violent) while others simply give in and rarely vocalize their disagreements. Men become frustrated, confused, shutdown, and even numb towards trying to resolve conflicts with their partners. This leads to distance between the partners, then to resentment, before finally ending up in a break-up.

Am I blaming women for becoming more independent? That’s a big NO. Am I blaming men for being confused and not knowing how to respond? Not really. In fact, it’s not blame I’m attempting to focus on, but rather how to help both men and women find the happy medium.

That’s the question I pose to you, the reader, the brave ones in the battlefield, as well as one’s observing from the sideline. Where’s the cure or vaccine for the Break-Up Season?

Wish There Was An Easy-Button for This

When you find yourself repeating the same line over and over again to your partner, follow these three simple steps:

1. Stop talking
2. Find the nearest wall
3. Begin to slowly, but not too hard, bang your head.

This will demonstrate a moment of clarity for you and your partner. For your partner, it will provide an understanding of how frustrated and hurt you are. For you, it will provide clarity that by repeating yourself verbally and now physically, you have become insane like those in a mental institute; doing the same thing over and over again attempting to gain a different result.

What would you like?

Here’s a food for thought: If you were able to, what would you want the opposite sex to experience? Pregnancy? Seemingly “Endless” Crying? The Thrill of Your Favorite Football Team Winning? Pedicures?

Just think of all of the experiences you have had, as a female or male, that you wish the opposite sex could only understand what it feels like to have experienced it. Take the same thought in your current relationship. What experiences have you had that you wished your partner understood what that was like.

I’m In Love With A Stripper… Porn Star… Or an Idea?

I’m In Love With A Stripper… Porn Star… Or an Idea?

I recently had a discussion with a wonderful, happy newly wed couple whose ideas sparked this latest topic. A topic that can be heated, controversial for some while others seemingly live with no worries. The topic is the viewing of adult entertainment by one or both partners.

Now there are a couple of people who will begin to read this and wonder, “What? Nah, my partner and I don’t look at that stuff?” or “My partner and/or I look at that stuff, what’s the big deal?” Some of you might not know what your partner’s views are on the topic itself. I’m here to say regardless of the partnership, the topic will come up. The hope is a comfortable compromise for you as a COUPLE, not a comfortable compromise for OTHERS.

Here’s the question: Is it okay for you and/or your partner to view adult entertainment (e.g. Go to Strip Clubs, View adult porn films, subscribe to adult magazines)?

If so, why do you see it as being healthy? Reasons I have heard before are “I know who they are coming home to” or “It provides a ‘spark’ for us.”

If not, what makes it unhealthy? Reasons I have heard before are “It’s cheating. How do I know they are not thinking about someone else?”

Thoughts?

Humor for the Genders

Humor for Understanding

A man on his harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice God said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish. The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over any time I want. God replied, “Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. Think of the steel it would take. I can do this, but to justify your desire for worldly thing. Take a minute and think of something that could possibly help man kind.

The biker thought for a moment, then finally he answered, “God I wish all men could understand women, how she feels, what she’s thinking, why she cries, what she means when she says something is wrong, why she snaps, and how to make her truly happy.”

God replied, “Do you want two lanes or four on that highway?”

Dilemma… or is it?

Dilemma…or is it

The new movie Dilemma, starring Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Jennifer Connelly, and Winona Ryder, brings up a situation that some of us might find ourselves in. For those who are not familiar with the movie, a man discovers that his best friend’s wife is having an affair. The “dilemma” for the man is whether he should tell his friend right away or wait. Without giving away too much of the movie, Vince Vaughn’s character first confronts his best friend’s wife (Winona Ryder). He tells her to tell him, otherwise he would.

Men have an unspoken code in which you tell your friend if their partner is cheating on them, no questions or doubt about it (unless they are the ones their partner is cheating with, which is just awkward in itself).

My question is, as a male or female, how do you handle a situation where you find out your best friend’s partner is cheating on them? Would it make a difference if your best friend was under a lot of stress and/or in a weak condition? Would you confront the partner? If so, how long would you give them to tell your best friend?

Food for Thought

Do you have Dater’s ADD (You meet someone, date them, then leave them)?

The Four Insecurities of Men (True or False)

The Four Insecurities of Men (True or False)

1. Hair
2. Career
3. Penis Size
4. Height

A man can have one or none, but at some point all men experience at least one degree an insecurity within one of these areas. Do you agree or disagree? Why?

Cougar versus Creepy

Cougar vs. Creepy

The most recent group that’s been getting more and more attention is the 40 yrs. old plus, usually financially independent, and usually well-educated woman seen hanging on the arm of a noticeably younger male. This, of course, describes a “Cougar”. Compared to the male counterpart…wait is there a male counterpart that is equally accepted? Think about it. If a man is 40 plus, financially independent, well-educated, and is seen courting a noticeably younger female, is he really accepted?